Chuck vs The Renaissance
by Newbie101
Summary: Sarah's thoughts on Chuck becoming the Intersect once again


_I deliberately haven't read any spoilers, so I hope to be pleasantly surprised when Chuck resumes tomorrow. In the meantime, I thought I'd offer my version of Sarah's thoughts on Chuck becoming the Intersect once again._

_This is based on a song I originally heard on a compilation Christmas album - Broadway casts came together to record Christmas Carols and Festive songs to benefit Save the Children. The version I have of "I Watch You Sleeping" was performed by Frances Ruffelle, and when I heard it again this past Christmas, I immediately thought of Chuck. The song was written by Mike Batt in honor of the birth of his son. John Denver also recorded it on one of his albums. _

_None of the characters are mine, which I can't say about any mistakes contained herein. Now without further ado, I give you_

Chuck vs. The Renaissance

**I watch you sleeping, little angel face.  
And on behalf of the human race, welcome to this crazy place.**

Sarah let out a frustrated sigh as she gazed upon Chuck's sleeping form. They had just arrived at Casa Bartowski after the CIA teams had come to secure the facility with the now defunct Intersect computer. Team Bartowski had watched incredulously as their compatriots took Bryce's body away and secured the Fulcrum agents, then she, Casey, and Chuck had made their report to General Beckman. Initially the general had been livid upon hearing of The Ring and the newly discovered threat to national security, but then had turned speechless during the recitation of Chuck's surprising role in the destruction of the old/securing of the new Intersect computer. The head of the United States' Intelligence Agencies apparently did not know how to react; Sarah couldn't blame her – she herself didn't know how she felt about the recent turn of events.

Luckily, Ellie and Devon had already left for their honeymoon, so Sarah had been able to help Chuck to his room without encountering any uncomfortable questions, questions for which she had no answers. At first, with the adrenalin coursing through his body, Chuck's nervous chatter and pacing had been incessant. All he could talk about was how he now knew kung fu and the possibilities of the new Intersect and his new abilities. But as the adrenalin wore off, the enormity of his decision to embrace the life of a spy began to sink in, and his body began to respond to the abnormal rigors of kung fu. Chuck began to unravel physically and mentally and his cover girlfriend barely got him to his bed before he collapsed.

**I watch you sleeping, innocent and free.  
I don't know what your dreams may be. You don't know what you mean to me.**

Sarah brushed a curl out of Chuck's face as she contemplated the incredible occurrences that had happened today. Ellie and Devon's wedding had been beautiful, and Sarah had felt honored to be playing such a special part in the nuptials. In a moment of weakness she had even imagined herself one day standing at an altar, professing her love and fidelity to someone tall and lanky, with chocolate eyes and a megawatt smile. Her fantasy of a normal life, a life that had so briefly been within her reach, had been shattered upon the realization that Chuck had once again become the United States' most important intelligence asset. Sarah swallowed a sob as she thought about a life that now could never be. She had been ready to leave the life of a secret agent, the life of nameless hotel rooms and covert operations, a life of countless lies and unspeakable dangers, of barricading herself behind a cold, emotionless wall, and losing herself in one identity or another. Now, not only could she not leave all that behind to live a normal life with the man of her dreams, but now she feared for the man he would now become.

**You have never heard the thunder, you have never seen the rain.  
But you can still feel the wonder, you can still feel the pain.  
**

Why did he do it? He hated deception, couldn't even dream of using a real gun (he barely managed to use the tranquilizer gun when confronted by Roark and the Fulcrum agents). Time and again Chuck had bemoaned their lack of morals, their unquestioning adherence to the general's directives. How could he even think of becoming a spy? Could he have done all this for _her_? Having thought there was no way she would leave the life of a spy, did he become the Intersect again so he could continue to work with her?

Chuck had no idea of the life he now chose for himself. She and Casey had always shielded Chuck from the worst of it - from the gun battles and killing, from the unavoidable innocent casualties, from using all forms of deception and seduction, for doing whatever it takes, no matter what, to ensure the nebulous "greater good". He had barely forgiven her for shooting an unarmed Mauser, despite the threat the Fulcrum agent had posed to Chuck's own security and the security of everyone he loved. What would happen the first time her loveable nerd ended up killing someone? Or received a directive that contradicted his own moral code? As a civilian, as the Intersect, Chuck had often ignored the general's orders and followed his own conscience. And while everything had always worked out, many would consider Chuck's actions as acts of treason. As a real spy, he would have to answer for any future deviations from the general's orders. This alone could have dire consequences, not to mention the constant dangers he would face, or the physical and mental isolation from his family.

**And sometimes you look at me, so wise and so sure,  
I could easily believe you have been here before.  
**

And yet, Chuck had always managed to save the day with minimal lying, minimal deception. Despite having the Intersect in his head for over a year and facing threats to his life and those he loved, he still found the best in everyone, he still believed in the goodness of people. He didn't walk into places, constantly assessing his surroundings, searching for potential threats. He was still a relative innocent despite all the horrors of espionage, weapons dealing, threats of torture, he had already seen and experienced, horrors that would have turned a lesser man bitter and cynical. Would he be able to survive being a spy without it changing the person he was? The person whom she had grown to love?

**I watch you sleeping, little angel face.  
And on behalf of the human race, welcome to this crazy place.  
**

Sarah smiled bitterly as she realized to where her thoughts had led her – she could finally admit it to herself (but only to herself!) – she was in love with Charles Irving Bartowski! And just when she was ready to forsake it all to join him in a normal life, the man she loved decided to renounce all _he_ knew to join her in her life! She groaned wryly as she realized they had enacted their very own _Gift of the Magi_ – O. Henry himself couldn't have written in a more ironic twist! Like the fictitious Della and Jim, they were both ready to give up their most prized possessions to please the person they love the most – Chuck his safety, freedom, and innocence, and she the security of the life she had known almost all her life (after all, being a CIA agent wasn't much different than running an elaborate con!)

**I won't be here forever, but as long as I'm around, I promise you I will never let you down.  
To help make a world you can feel worthy of, I will teach you to fly on the wings of my love.  
**

CIA's top agent knew that she could not leave now – no matter what General Beckman ordered – Chuck needed her protection more than ever. Sure, perhaps he now knew kung fu and could physically defend himself, but secret agents needed many more skills than just the ability to defend themselves. He would need emotional support to deal with everything – with the lies and deception, with the rigors CIA bootcamp, with the realization that he would not be able to succeed at every mission and save everybody. She vowed to do all she could to keep him safe, to help him deal with the life he chose for himself. And his decision would not be for naught – Sarah Walker would stay by Chuck Bartowski's side with or without the sanction of the United States government. And yet – would she be able to reveal her true feelings and declare her love? No secret agent could afford to admit a vulnerability – it left them susceptible to threats and manipulation from friends and foes alike. After all, in spy school they learned to do whatever it takes to fulfill the mission, even if it meant manipulating their own compatriots. Carina had been particularly adept at that concept …

**I watch you sleeping, brave and unaware. You don't know yet so you don't care.  
I want you to know it's hard out there.  
**

Exhausted, Sarah climbed in to bed next to Chuck. She didn't have to answer all these questions in a single night – after all, they still awaited Beckman's response. For all she knew, the formidable general might deem the Intersect too uncontrollable to allow him in the field. Or perhaps Chuck would change his mind and convince his father to help him remove the Intersect once again from his head. Or perhaps nothing would change – Team Bartowski would remain intact, and she, Casey, and Chuck would continue to go on missions, with the Castle as their base of operations. Sarah didn't know what the future would bring, but she vowed to fulfill her promise and protect him from everything and everyone – even preserve who and what makes him who he is – her very own loveable nerd – as much as she possibly could. She had told him several times he had the ability to do whatever he wanted – and she still had every faith in him, now even more so than ever! She would be by his side while he fulfilled his potential and they would face this new challenge, this new Intersect – together.

**I watch you sleeping, I watch you sleeping, I watch you sleeping,  
I watch you sleeping, I watch you sleeping, I watch you sleeping.**

***********************

_Author's note - this is only my second story EVER, so feedback would be greatly appreciated! I don't currently have any intentions to continue the story (no plot bunnies), but I have no objections to doing so, should anyone have any ideas. And last but not least, if anyone knows how I can get a copy of the SHEET MUSIC to this wonderful song, I'd REALLY appreciate it!_

_HAPPY CHUCK PREMIERE DAY!!!_


End file.
